Blessed are the planners, and the lands they divide.
Welcome to thy holiest Book of Planning
A satirical scripture series narrated by Ronny Boy, reframing zoning, planning, and governance as religious doctrine. Each “Book” reveals how development decisions reshape land, truth, and accountability where approval is sacred and bureaucracy becomes scripture. Airing Thursdays.
Join the church!
Where land becomes scripture, and approval becomes faith
Welcome, seeker, to the Church of Planning where land becomes scripture and every decision is canonized in concrete.
Across 30 sacred chapters, Ronny Boy reveals the gospel of development: wetlands become housing, roads crack into doctrine, and water itself is declared the enemy. Each episode is a parable of modern governance, where hearings are performed, experts are pre-approved, and “public input” is recorded long after the outcome is written.
Here, fences protect ignorance, maps rewrite reality, and exceptions quietly become law. Donations are holy, timelines are flexible, and every mitigation leads somewhere no one will ever visit.
In this church, nothing is accidental... only approved.
Join us, and witness the truth:
that planning is not policy… it is belief.
#ramen
THIS WEEK AT THE CHURCH OF PLANNING
Where land becomes scripture, and approval becomes faith
SUNDAY SERVICE — 10:00 AM
The Book of Planning
Floodplains, wetlands, and the sacred art of calling “wasted space” something else after it’s gone.
MIDWEEK REFLECTION — WEDNESDAY 6:30 PM
The Book of Infrastructure
We gather to study cracks in the road, and give thanks for every additional lane that solves nothing.
GOVERNANCE HOUR — THURSDAY 7:00 PM
The Fence & The Hearing
A time of blessed silence, brief public testimony, and preordained consensus.
DOCTRINE STUDY — FRIDAY 6:00 PM
Experts, Exceptions, and Mitigation
We reflect on how everything is independently reviewed by those already chosen.
SABBATH OF PROCESS — SATURDAY 5:00 PM
Donations, Timelines & Variances
A celebration of smooth approvals, flexible deadlines, and spiritually aligned funding.
CLOSING SERMON — SUNDAY EVENING
The Legacy
We remember that nothing changes, everything is recorded, and all outcomes are permanent.
ANNOUNCEMENT:
Coffee will be served in the Fellowship Hall at the Boat Yard Park formerly known as Siesta Key Water Sports Plaza. Parking lot is currently under “temporary long-term redevelopment.”
#ramen
