Learn more about the Manatee County Shitshow
Want to learn about about the Manatee County Real KVO Universe
In Manatee County there are 7 commish seats with 6 currently being filled. Commissioners are voted to 4 year terms with alternating election cycles. In 2026 Districts 1, 2, 4, & 6 will be up for election.
District 1 (Currently Vacant: Up for election in 2026) — A sprawling east-county district of ranchland, farmland, and rapidly encroaching development stretching through Myakka and Manatee’s rural frontier.
Meet your District 1 commissh: You don't have one. After the death of Carol Ann Felts, District 1 has remained vacant
District 2 (Up for election in 2026) — A north-county district built around Palmetto, Terra Ceia, and the river communities, blending old Florida neighborhoods, industrial corridors, and fast-moving growth.
Meet your District 2 commish: Cousin Amanda — A snack-fueled TJ Maxx intellectual disaster who speed-reads banned books, misunderstands all of them, compares everything to Manatee County politics, and somehow turns every literary review into a public bathroom emergency and zoning hearing at the same time.
District 3 — Manatee County’s coastal district, covering Anna Maria Island, Cortez, Palma Sola, and the laid-back tourist-and-fishing communities along the Gulf.
Meet your District 3 commish: Cousin Tal — A soft-spoken Batmobile-driving commissioner parody who treats Manatee County politics like a superhero movie, complete with dramatic whispers, swamp-ready tires, grassroots mute buttons, and a suspicious ability to turn every rezoning meeting into an origin story.
District 4 (Up for election in 2026) — A dense south-county suburban district centered around Bayshore Gardens and the US-41 corridor, packed with older neighborhoods, traffic, apartments, and commercial sprawl near the Sarasota line.
Meet your District 4 commish: Mike Nahn is the permanently upbeat co-host of Yelp with Commissioner Nahn, delivering smooth-talking Hims-style ad reads while standing knee-deep in Florida overdevelopment. Equal parts fake luxury spokesman, HOA motivational speaker, and developer infomercial narrator, Mike somehow manages to sound optimistic even while wetlands disappear behind him in real time.
District 5 — A fast-growing east and northeast suburban district dominated by Parrish expansion, new housing developments, and the county’s ongoing growth boom.
Meet your District 5 commish: Dr Bob is the rare, almost unsettlingly competent commissioner archetype in the Real KVO universe—calm, process-driven, and genuinely focused on listening to residents and making decisions that actually function in the real world. In a system built on chaos, influence, and overcomplication, his “common sense governance” becomes so unfamiliar that it’s treated like a malfunction that needs to be fixed.
Districts 6 & 7 At-Large (District 6 up for election in 2026) — Countywide seats representing all of Manatee County, where commissioners campaign across every district instead of just one local area.
Meet your district 6 commish: Penis Bearden is a surreal “swamp guardian” commissioner archetype—half civic mystic, half uncomfortably literal symbol of resistance—who treats wetlands protection like a sacred duty wrapped in bizarre spiritual theatrics and zoning-obsessed sermons. In the Commissioner Cribs universe, he stands as an absurd living barrier between developer expansion and the natural systems everyone else is trying to rename, rezone, or erase.
Meet your district 7 commish: Uncle George is the chaotic compromise archetype of Manatee County politics—forever trying to serve both “grassroots affordability” and “developer deluxe,” even when the menu clearly says nobody’s leaving satisfied. He operates like a walking negotiation table, where every decision is technically flexible, morally ambiguous, and somehow still gets served as a burger nobody ordered.
#ramen
About the Manatee County Spin-Offs
Reading Rainbow w/ Cousin Amanda
Reading Rainbow with Cousin Amanda is a satirical book club spanning 46 episodes where overconfident Florida political energy collides with controversial YA and adult literature, turning every story into a chaotic breakdown of identity, trauma, romance, or grief filtered through snacks, bathroom breaks, and Manatee County civic dysfunction. Each episode spirals into absurd commentary, banning-book outrage, and civic satire, where literature becomes just another excuse to roast politics, development, and anyone who thinks they understand either.
#ramen
Commish Cribs
Commish Cribs is a satirical tour of local (Manatee & Sarasota) commissioners’ homes where luxury interiors, questionable decor choices, and “totally normal” taxpayer-adjacent lifestyles are showcased like a political version of a reality home show. Each of the 9 episodes turns into a roast of influence, development money, and civic self-importance, exposing how public service and private comfort blur into one long open-house for power.
#ramen
Pimp My Ride
Pimp My Ride is a satirical makeover show that takes place in Manatee and Sarasota Counties where beat-up, politically loaded vehicles driven by Florida power players are transformed into absurd “custom rides” packed with over-the-top gadgets that reflect corruption, influence, and developer-driven chaos. Each of the 8 episodes turns a new civic figure’s car into a rolling joke about rezoning, backroom deals, and public accountability; only now with louder engines, worse ethics, and way more unnecessary tech.
#ramen
Shitmore's Mini Golf, Ice Cream & Erotica
Carol Shitmore hosts a 9 episode mini golf tour that spirals into absurd civic satire, where every hole turns basic public infrastructure into self-serving political performance art. Jim Boyd tries to keep it on track, but it devolves into nonstop ego, broken services, and bureaucratic nonsense.
#ramen
The Uncle George Mixtape
Uncle George’s Mixtape is a satirical emotional rollercoaster where soft rock ballads and pop anthems are reimagined as tragic commentary on civic dysfunction, zoning battles, and home rule collapse in Florida politics. From I Don’t Want to Miss a Thing turning SB180 into a breakup anthem, to Crazy and Timber amplifying emotional burnout and collapse, it plays like the saddest approval vote ever set to music.
#ramen
Yelp Reviews
With 29 episodes Yelp Reviews is a satirical travel-review series disguised as a luxury waterfront showcase, where Buc-ee’s mega-developments across Florida are presented as high-end lifestyle destinations while quietly collapsing under the weight of overdevelopment, political influence, and environmental loss. Across each stop, polished developer narration and parody pharmaceutical ads frame the illusion, while a recurring reviewer slowly deconstructs the experience in escalating star ratings that reveal each site as less a place and more a system of curated dysfunction built on wetlands, zoning loopholes, and runaway ambition.
#ramen
